Friday, October 28, 2011

My Anxiety, God My Relief

The economy has brought about trouble and discomfort throughout the whole country. Families and individuals are facing different financial scenarios and making life changing decisions. Our family is no exception.

Two years ago I decided I needed to go back to patient care, the stress of a governmental management job was eating me alive. I found a job in hospice, (my first love for a job). The job was a an hour an a half drive away from my family, working four ten hour shifts. I found a hotel that would work with me on pricing and I stayed during my days of work. I thought this would help with decreasing stress and still give me time with my family.

Family dogs during a family outing.
Unfortunately, the economy also affected the company I was employed at. Many changes occurred, including reorganizing and shifting of nurses and selling of the company (again). In the ten months I was there I had five different positions and a few different pay rates. Agreements and promises weren't upheld. I decided I needed to leave, giving my two weeks notice once I found other employment.

My next position found me back in nursing management at a home care agency. Still another hour an a half drive away from my family one way. My family needed me home more, just as much as I needed to be home. Trying to meet everyone's need, I chose to drive back and forth each day, instead of staying at the hotel. I really didn't like the job, but I needed it and the pay was really good. The position, travel and being away from my family was once again another stressful situation for me.

Relief came from the job stress when I fractured my knee and was temporarily disabled. I was out of work for nine months, drawing disability. This was a healing time for my body and my family.

Family, Great Grandma and Grandpa and Grandma. 
Husband and wife with Max the pup.
Son with Max graduating from his first class.
After my knee healed and I had some physical therapy sessions, I went back to work this past June. Working part-time at the local surgery center. Least amount of stress I've had in a  long time. I get to spend a  lot of time at home enjoying my family, animals and my simpler life.

With part-time work comes a part-time income. With injuries comes medical bills. With a slow economy comes periods of decrease in business for many companies, my husband's included. Fortunately we're not in financial trouble. Things are tight but we're making it. Business has been better the last two weeks for my husband and surgery cases have increased recently. I'm grateful for these blessings.

With the times as they are, I've felt the need to look for full-time work. Not only for an income but also for health insurance. I have Systemic Lupus and I'm uninsurable through private health insurance. My husband has no insurance.

I've applied for three different jobs in the last month; one I haven't heard from, one was filled and one I interviewed for this past Wednesday. The interview I thought went really well. The interviewers said I would be called next week.

The job is in the local hospital in infusion therapy, with possibly cross training for surgery (per my request). I would be working three days, twelve hour shifts on Wednesdays, Thursdays and Fridays. I would still have four days off and the drive is only about ten minutes away.

Wouldn't be a family without a cat.

I've prayed about this and I'm ok with whatever the Lord wants, but I worry. I worry if I don't get the job, what does the Lord have planned instead, I worry about our needs being met if I don't get the job and also about the attitudes of the people I'll be working with.

God tells us in His word how to handle all of this. I just have hard time letting things go. In the New International Version Matthew 6:25-27 "Therfore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?"

Jeremiah 29:11 "'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" NIV

Philippians 4:6 "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."

Ravendale, CA
Clearly looking at scripture, I see I don't have anything to worry about. And if God's word and His promises weren't enough, as I was writing this post my husband got a call about a large rush job that will bring in $360! Isn't God amazing and so worthy to be praised!! (and trusted!)

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